Category Archives: disabled dating

Stop Wallowing Start Disabled Dating – It’s Time To Change

Right guys and girls, it’s time to have a chat. It’s time to talk about the world of disabled dating. It’s time to talk about that thing that you’ve been putting off. Speaking of which, why exactly are you putting it off…?

What is it that you are afraid of when it comes to disabled dating? Is it the fact that you think people might laugh at you? Is it the fact that they might stand you up? Is it the fact that you don’t really want to get rejected?

disabled datingGuess what ladies and gentlemen – everyone has those fears. It’s just not disabled singles that get rejected; it’s non-disabled singles that get rejected too. I am disabled. My partner is not. He has been rejected more times than I have. I’ve slept with more people than he has. He’s had more long term relationships than I have. There’s no difference in our love or sex lives. We’ve both had our hearts broken, we’ve both broken a few hearts, and we’ve definitely had our fair share of ups and downs. How does that make disabled dating any different from ‘regular’ dating?

When I was single, I HATED dating. I especially hated internet dating. Do you know how hard it is to say to someone “Hi, I’m disabled!” when you are still coming to terms with that very fact yourself? My disability was something that happened out of nowhere. I wasn’t expecting it. I didn’t grow up with it. I’ve had to evolve around it. I needed to adapt to that myself before I expected anyone else to learn to adapt for me. How can do you expect to tell them how they need to evolve to work with your life when you aren’t really sure yourself? It takes a while, I won’t lie to you, but it does happen – life does get easier, you will get your confidence back again… if you’re willing to work, of course.

Once you get your head around the fact that your disability is something that you need to learn to live with, and also that it will cause you to have certain limitations in your relationship, life will be a lot easier. It’s not a bad thing. Disability isn’t a bad thing. It’s just something you will need to work around.

At the same time though, you’ll go through a whole host of dating and relationship dramas. You’ll meet people that will look at you funny, or will turn around and leave as soon as they see that you are disabled in some way. It’s ok though because all you need to remember is that able-bodied have all of those dramas too. Before I was disabled, a man stood me up on a date because he got to the door and saw I was a blonde. He didn’t date blondes. I can understand someone walking away because of my disability because it’s nothing something that generally occurs everyday. I was mortified that I had been stood up all those years ago just because of the colour of my hair.

It’s even worse when you don’t have a physical disability, and explaining it becomes both embarrassing and awkwardly necessary. This is something you need to cope with. That’s the harsh reality of it all – disabled dating is easy once you’ve learn how to be one of the disabled singles. Check out this great disabled web site! They have thousands of members all over Europe! Not sure where you are dear reader, as you read this.

There are a few things that will make the process easier, especially if you are online dating. For example, mentioning the disability in your profile somewhere is a great idea. It’s a part of you after all… why wouldn’t you mention it?

People will accept you but only once you have accepted yourself. You probably will get rejected. So will every single one of your non-disabled friends. You probably will get laughed at. You will get stared at. People will stand you up.

What makes you so special? Sadly, that happens to most of us.

Unless you’re Leonardo di Caprio or Rihanna… I bet they’ve not been stood up ever in their lives.

Disabled Dating Taboo Words

Sadly, disabled and dating are two words that you rarely see together. This is pretty depressing when you consider exactly how many disabled people there are in the world. For the most part, the concerns over jumping into the world of disabled dating for newly disabled people are too great to even consider it. Sometimes this is a good thing as it means that you are taking the time to come to terms with your own disability. On the other hand, why are you really putting it off?

disability datingHow do you handle it?

A lot of how people handle your disability will be down to how you handle your disability. Who would you rather talk to – the person that was upbeat about what had gone wrong in their life and didn’t let it bother them, or the guy wallowing in self pity not talking to people because he can’t get to grips with what has happened to him? Think about it – who would you rather be? Who do you think people would rather talk to?

How’s your self-esteem looking?

If your self-esteem is too low to join a disabled dating site, or to even think about dating, you’ll need to work on that first. Perhaps you should join some sort of support group to meet other people that are in the same boat as you? This is the best way to learn new tricks and tips on how to deal with your disability and the more sociable you are, the higher the chance of meeting someone that you click with. How can you expect to meet ‘the one’ when you can’t find the energy to get off the couch? The internet can only help you so far…

If you believe yourself to be inferior to other people, other people will see you as just that. If you believe yourself to be an equal to other people, once again, they will see you as just that. If only you knew how much of a difference your own opinion of yourself would make to other people’s first impressions of you. How different do you think you would act?

How do you deal with rejection?

Being rejected is the biggest concern for so many people, especially those looking at disability dating for the first time. The problem with this train of thought is that EVERYONE feels like that. Even able-bodied people get rejected! Don’t automatically think that the really hot able-bodied person you are talking to will reject you once they find out you are disabled. The very best people out there won’t care, and it’s these very best people that you should be aiming for. What’s the point in settling for anything less than awesome?

Making the first move is impossible when don’t feel great about yourself so one tip you should bear in mind is that people won’t be able to message you if you aren’t on the dating website. You might not be able to make the first move but that doesn’t mean that other people won’t make the first move for you. Whether its disabled dating sites or not, you won’t get anywhere until you make that first move. The perfect person out there for you could be on that very website right now. You won’t know until you try, so what the hell are you waiting for?

Cracking The Disabled Dating Code

It doesn’t matter whether you’re one of the disabled singles out there, or if you are someone about to go on a first date with a disabled single you met online, there are a few rules that you should probably follow. Let’s face it, dating a disabled person is probably not something you try on a regular basis!

It is common for things to go wrong in certain social situations, no matter how prepared you think you are. Even if you are both disabled and can sympathise with each other over your respectful conditions, things can still go horribly wrong… Something I personally have seen a hundred and one times before!

Rather than give you a long list of things that people tend to do wrong in relationships with disabled people, I have decided to tell you what you SHOULD be doing instead. Smart, right?

disabled dating clubWhat ‘term’ do you use?

Some people call it their disability, other disabled singles call it their mobility impairment. For some it might be an illness or chronic condition. First and foremost, before anything else, ask that question – “What do you like to call it?”

You should probably be aware that it is going to come up in conversation. It is going to put certain limitations on your relationship. There are certain things that you are going to need to talk about it. Just get it out the way. Chances are, they’ll love you for being so upfront about it.

Don’t ever call “normal” people “normal”.

Who knows what “normal” is anyway. Most disabled people hate the term “normal”. And “healthy”… That’s another one that grates on us. We’re not abnormal. Nor are we unhealthy. Unlucky yes, but the other words… No!

You can use the term “able-bodied” if you like?

If disability is a deal-breaker, it’s a deal-breaker. If I smoked and you hated smokers, I would expect to get rejected. If you know full well that you couldn’t handle the disability that your potential partner is presenting to you, don’t go on the first date. Don’t ‘give it a try’ if you’re not really sure. It would be much better to reject us upfront than to string us along for a bit and then reject us. Just get it out the way. You know?

Of course, there are a couple of extra etiquette tips that it is worth taking into account too:

*If they are in a wheelchair, don’t stand above them and look down at them all the time. Find a chair and sit your butt down! Be on the same level as them. Otherwise you just look a bit rude, and occasionally intimidating. Don’t be that person.
*Make eye contact. Don’t be afraid to look. If they aren’t embarrassed by their illness or condition, why should you?
*Remember that the tools for a disability are part of the disabled daters personal space. If it’s a wheelchair, don’t interfere with it or try to get into the personal space it encompasses. If they use a stick, don’t hide it because you think it will be funny. Behave yourself. You’re meant to be an adult.
*Don’t be afraid to ask questions. If you want to know how they make it up the stairs, ask them how they make it up the stairs. You’d be surprised at how many people are too afraid to ask these things.
*Think about the actual dates before you book them. What’s the point in going somewhere completely inaccessible for a wheelchair with your wheelchair-bound date there? Be serious and be sensible. Just think about it for a moment!

Of course, above all else you should try to have fun. That’s what disabled dating is meant to be, isn’t it? Fun? Looking for an amazing disabled dating web site in Australia, I recommend – check it out!

3 Smart Tips For Dating The Disabled

Summary: Are you currently in the process of wooing someone that is less able-bodied than yourself? There are a couple of things you should probably be aware of before you embark on this new relationship. Check out this three smart tips!

If you are currently thinking about dating a disabled partner, there are a couple of things that you will need to know. Without a shadow of a doubt, dating and disability are two things that are guaranteed to separate the wheat from the chaff, so to speak, and as much as there are a lot of things that you can still do together, there are certain limitations that you may find as a couple…

Don’t Be Naive

If you think you can sail through the relationship with your partner without anything needing to change away from the ‘norm’ you are very much mistaken. There are going to be limitations and these are things that you should be aware of, and take on board, right from the very beginning. You will need to be realistic about the relationship that you see embarking before you. You shouldn’t be afraid to bring it up and talk about it – chances are your partner already is aware of the challenges that the two of you may face as a couple.

Talk About It!

The more you ignore it, the more it will become the ‘elephant in the room’ as they say. You shouldn’t be afraid to ask questions, and be questionable about the disability. There is nothing wrong with asking these questions. They are a disabled person and they have probably heard these questions a thousand times before. They are expecting these questions. In fact, it might even be weird if you didn’t ask the questions…

Don’t be afraid to step a little out of your comfort zone and TALK ABOUT the relationship that you are thinking of having. Ask the silly questions that you think will be laughed at. There is a good chance that they are assuming you are thinking just that anyway…

Disabled Dating Doesn’t Mean No Dating!

Just because various parts of the body doesn’t work, doesn’t mean that other’s don’t. The heart still works, as do the loins, and you shouldn’t disregard a person that is asking you out on a date just because they happen to be disabled. Yes there is a good chance that it will take some getting used to, but aren’t all love stories just a series of challenges?

You are going to face physical challenges and at times, there may even be mental and emotional challenges that you’ll need to overcome too. There’s nothing wring with asking the questions before you decide to take the relationship further… If they aren’t ready to answer your questions about their disability, they probably aren’t ready to date yet.

It often helps to have a sense of humour about things so if you find yourself in an uncomfortable situation, don’t be afraid to use a little light humour to get yourself out of it. Once again, there’s a good chance your partner will really appreciate the icebreaker, as well as the fact that you will have eased a little bit of tension! Dating the disabled is really quite easy when you know how!