Tag Archives: disabled dating

Why Having A Disability Could HELP Your Dating Game

That’s a sentence I bet you never thought you’d read, right? Disabled people, no matter what their disability is, will generally have a lower confidence level. It can take them a long time to dip into the dating game and start looking for someone they can spend their life with, and for the most part, they will struggle to find singles that they have something in common with that can deal with the limitations that the disability may mean for your relationship.

Well, if ‘they’ are anything like me that’s the case. I wasn’t born with my disability. It was something that just happened to me and it took me a long time to get my head around it. It certainly wasn’t something that came easy at first…

dating for disabledThe thing that you need to remember is that disabled dating could actually work in your favour… Don’t believe us? Let’s find out more!

If you’ve come to terms with your disability, you’ll put others that have questions about it at ease. You’ll be able to answer their questions and make them feel comfortable. You’ll be more used to awkward and difficult conversations than others may be too. Think about it – you’re already one step ahead in the game!

You show vulnerability, which can especially work in the favour of men. It shows that you know how to ask and accept for help. It shows that you have a vulnerable side. Women and men love to nurture and care for a vulnerable person… Just saying!

It makes you more interesting. You stand out from the crowd. People will notice you. People will be more inclined to talk to you. Why not use that to your advantage? I’ve learned to. You can too.

The thing you need to remember is that when you have confidence in the world of disabled dating, it shows. It shows in the way as with the dating singles on the “regular” dating sites too. It doesn’t matter what your disability is. You could have lost both legs and still enter the room and be the most confident person there. Just take a look at other disabled people you see around you and watch how they handle various social situations. You’ll soon see what I’m saying.

In a world that is packed with people, standing out from the crowd isn’t such a bad thing. Having a disability shouldn’t be a negative impact on your life. At first it might be; don’t get me wrong, being disabled is something that takes some getting used to, but once you’ve learned how to use it to enhance your life, or enable you to do something in a slightly different way, you’ll be a much happier and more positive person. How can you expect someone to help you with something if you don’t know what kind of help that you need? In the same breath, how can you expect someone to know how to deal with something that you yourself haven’t yet learned how to deal with?

Your first start to dating should probably be a site designed for dating for special needs or the disabled. First of all, you have nothing to lose, and secondly, you may make great friends. It’s always good to have a support network around you and you never know, you might even learn something.

Stop Wallowing Start Disabled Dating – It’s Time To Change

Right guys and girls, it’s time to have a chat. It’s time to talk about the world of disabled dating. It’s time to talk about that thing that you’ve been putting off. Speaking of which, why exactly are you putting it off…?

What is it that you are afraid of when it comes to disabled dating? Is it the fact that you think people might laugh at you? Is it the fact that they might stand you up? Is it the fact that you don’t really want to get rejected?

disabled datingGuess what ladies and gentlemen – everyone has those fears. It’s just not disabled singles that get rejected; it’s non-disabled singles that get rejected too. I am disabled. My partner is not. He has been rejected more times than I have. I’ve slept with more people than he has. He’s had more long term relationships than I have. There’s no difference in our love or sex lives. We’ve both had our hearts broken, we’ve both broken a few hearts, and we’ve definitely had our fair share of ups and downs. How does that make disabled dating any different from ‘regular’ dating?

When I was single, I HATED dating. I especially hated internet dating. Do you know how hard it is to say to someone “Hi, I’m disabled!” when you are still coming to terms with that very fact yourself? My disability was something that happened out of nowhere. I wasn’t expecting it. I didn’t grow up with it. I’ve had to evolve around it. I needed to adapt to that myself before I expected anyone else to learn to adapt for me. How can do you expect to tell them how they need to evolve to work with your life when you aren’t really sure yourself? It takes a while, I won’t lie to you, but it does happen – life does get easier, you will get your confidence back again… if you’re willing to work, of course.

Once you get your head around the fact that your disability is something that you need to learn to live with, and also that it will cause you to have certain limitations in your relationship, life will be a lot easier. It’s not a bad thing. Disability isn’t a bad thing. It’s just something you will need to work around.

At the same time though, you’ll go through a whole host of dating and relationship dramas. You’ll meet people that will look at you funny, or will turn around and leave as soon as they see that you are disabled in some way. It’s ok though because all you need to remember is that able-bodied have all of those dramas too. Before I was disabled, a man stood me up on a date because he got to the door and saw I was a blonde. He didn’t date blondes. I can understand someone walking away because of my disability because it’s nothing something that generally occurs everyday. I was mortified that I had been stood up all those years ago just because of the colour of my hair.

It’s even worse when you don’t have a physical disability, and explaining it becomes both embarrassing and awkwardly necessary. This is something you need to cope with. That’s the harsh reality of it all – disabled dating is easy once you’ve learn how to be one of the disabled singles. Check out this great disabled web site! They have thousands of members all over Europe! Not sure where you are dear reader, as you read this.

There are a few things that will make the process easier, especially if you are online dating. For example, mentioning the disability in your profile somewhere is a great idea. It’s a part of you after all… why wouldn’t you mention it?

People will accept you but only once you have accepted yourself. You probably will get rejected. So will every single one of your non-disabled friends. You probably will get laughed at. You will get stared at. People will stand you up.

What makes you so special? Sadly, that happens to most of us.

Unless you’re Leonardo di Caprio or Rihanna… I bet they’ve not been stood up ever in their lives.

Cracking The Disabled Dating Code

It doesn’t matter whether you’re one of the disabled singles out there, or if you are someone about to go on a first date with a disabled single you met online, there are a few rules that you should probably follow. Let’s face it, dating a disabled person is probably not something you try on a regular basis!

It is common for things to go wrong in certain social situations, no matter how prepared you think you are. Even if you are both disabled and can sympathise with each other over your respectful conditions, things can still go horribly wrong… Something I personally have seen a hundred and one times before!

Rather than give you a long list of things that people tend to do wrong in relationships with disabled people, I have decided to tell you what you SHOULD be doing instead. Smart, right?

disabled dating clubWhat ‘term’ do you use?

Some people call it their disability, other disabled singles call it their mobility impairment. For some it might be an illness or chronic condition. First and foremost, before anything else, ask that question – “What do you like to call it?”

You should probably be aware that it is going to come up in conversation. It is going to put certain limitations on your relationship. There are certain things that you are going to need to talk about it. Just get it out the way. Chances are, they’ll love you for being so upfront about it.

Don’t ever call “normal” people “normal”.

Who knows what “normal” is anyway. Most disabled people hate the term “normal”. And “healthy”… That’s another one that grates on us. We’re not abnormal. Nor are we unhealthy. Unlucky yes, but the other words… No!

You can use the term “able-bodied” if you like?

If disability is a deal-breaker, it’s a deal-breaker. If I smoked and you hated smokers, I would expect to get rejected. If you know full well that you couldn’t handle the disability that your potential partner is presenting to you, don’t go on the first date. Don’t ‘give it a try’ if you’re not really sure. It would be much better to reject us upfront than to string us along for a bit and then reject us. Just get it out the way. You know?

Of course, there are a couple of extra etiquette tips that it is worth taking into account too:

*If they are in a wheelchair, don’t stand above them and look down at them all the time. Find a chair and sit your butt down! Be on the same level as them. Otherwise you just look a bit rude, and occasionally intimidating. Don’t be that person.
*Make eye contact. Don’t be afraid to look. If they aren’t embarrassed by their illness or condition, why should you?
*Remember that the tools for a disability are part of the disabled daters personal space. If it’s a wheelchair, don’t interfere with it or try to get into the personal space it encompasses. If they use a stick, don’t hide it because you think it will be funny. Behave yourself. You’re meant to be an adult.
*Don’t be afraid to ask questions. If you want to know how they make it up the stairs, ask them how they make it up the stairs. You’d be surprised at how many people are too afraid to ask these things.
*Think about the actual dates before you book them. What’s the point in going somewhere completely inaccessible for a wheelchair with your wheelchair-bound date there? Be serious and be sensible. Just think about it for a moment!

Of course, above all else you should try to have fun. That’s what disabled dating is meant to be, isn’t it? Fun? Looking for an amazing disabled dating web site in Australia, I recommend disableddatingclub.com.au – check it out!